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“Yeah, like playing paintball or sparring in the ring,” Paul adds, glancing at Cole. “Feel free to bring her back, Logan. It’s getting a little dull here.”

  Cole rolls his eyes with a smirk. “Have you met that woman?”

  “Yes,” his father says, entering the room, “and we want her back.”

  Mark leans over the table. “Even if you can see her whenever you want, you shouldn't say that. We miss her, and what’s with that bar? Have you met that creep? Mr. Scotch Neat? The man is an ass!”

  “All right, boys.” Abigail sets a bowl of chips and hot wings on the table. Everyone stops talking immediately as they dive in.

  “Fold.” Dell chucks his cards in front of him. It’s their third round, and Mark has won twice, and now he’s gloating.

  “John, I see you and raise you five.” Mark grins and turns his attention to Daniel, who looks like he's thinking.

  Cole’s pocket starts to vibrate. He pulls out his cell and glances at the screen, then quickly answers it. “Savi?”

  “Ahh, hi. This is Jake, actually. I work with Savi at the bar.” Cole looks at Mark, who’s watching him. The table grows quiet. “I’m sorry for calling you, but I think she's having a panic attack or something. Any suggestions on what I should do?”

  “Hold the phone up to her ear.” Cole quickly walks out of the room and up the stairs, grabbing his jacket and keys.

  “Okay…ahh…here she is.”

  Her erratic breathing fills the phone. “Savannah, it’s Cole. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

  “I-don’t—” She pauses, trying to catch a breath. “I-can’t…”

  “It’s all right. Where are you?” he says calmly.

  “M-mall.” She starts to cry, her sounds muffled by the phone, then Jake is back on.

  “We're at the mall parking lot, section 3C. Are you coming?”

  “Yes, I’ll be there in twenty.”

  Cole pulls into the parking lot fifteen minutes later, easily spotting Jake. Savannah is on the ground in a ball, leaning against a light pole. It’s just getting dark and the temperature has dropped drastically in a very short time. He hops out and leaves the car running.

  “She won’t get in the car!” Jake calls out as he gets closer. “She won’t come near it. I don’t know what happened. One minute we were having a great time, the next she’s freaking out.”

  Cole bends down close to Savannah. “Hey, baby, I’m going to pick you up and put you in my car now. I’ll take you back to your place.” She lifts her head and peers up at him through blood-shot eyes, tears streaking her face, shaking uncontrollably. She leans forward and wraps her arms around his neck.

  “Cole,” she whispers, sounding relieved.

  He lifts her up and carries her to the car, telling Jake to follow them back home.

  A few minutes later, Jake opens the door to her apartment. “I’ll get changed and come back to check on her.”

  “It’s all right, I’m going to spend the night,” Cole says as he places Savannah on the couch and removes her jacket. “I called Zack. Both of your shifts are covered tonight.” He stands, sighing. “Thanks for calling me, Jake. I...we...both appreciate it.”

  Jake hesitates, then glances at Savi, who seems to be slowly coming around. “Are you all right?”

  Cole knows Jake is just looking out for her, and he respects that, but he needs to leave now. “I’ve got it.”

  “It’s okay, Jake, thank you.” She stands, wavering a bit. She sends him a small smile to reassure him. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Jake nods, closing the door behind him. Cole removes his wet boots and jacket, taking in Savannah’s new place. He doesn't miss the makeshift bed on the couch or the box of tissues next to it. He bends down and picks up the little army bear that had fallen on the floor, tucking it under the covers and feeling his stomach twist a little. Following the sound of the water running in the bathroom, he pushes open the door to find Savannah scrunched down in the steaming tub. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun with a few pieces framing her face. Eyes tightly closed, she leans her head back and takes a shaky breath. Cole leans against the counter, legs and arms crossed, and watches her pale face slowly returning to its normal color.

  “So what happened, Savi?” His voice is low.

  She keeps her eyes closed as she speaks. “Thank you for coming and bringing me home, Cole, but you don’t have to stay.”

  “I want to stay. Now what happened back at the mall?”

  Her chin starts to quiver, and he can’t help moving to her side, needing to touch her. He bends down behind her head and starts gently messaging her shoulders. The moment his hands slide over her smooth skin, he feels the mood shift. Leaning forward so his lips hover above her ear, he whispers again, “Savi, tell me what happened back there. Please talk to me, baby.” He wants so much to tell her how he really feels and what he would like to do to her right now, but is afraid of her pulling back from him even more. He doesn’t want her to think it’s all sex between them; he loves her so much more than that. How can he explain to her that she means more to him than anything on earth? He can feel her heart beating under his hands and realizes she is holding her breath.

  Suddenly she moves forward, reaching for the plug, then steps out and wraps a towel around herself. He follows her out to the living room where she hands him his jacket, not making eye contact.

  “Are you kicking me out?” he asks, not taking his jacket.

  “Like I said, thank you for helping me, but you can go now. I’m sure you have lots to do.” She reaches to unlock the door, but he stops her. “Cole, please.”

  “Please what?” His hand slides down the door, meeting hers. Her hand shoots to her towel, holding it tighter around her front. “Please leave so you can crawl onto the couch and not sleep another night? Have you slept at all since Keith got switched to night duty?” She sneaks a glance at her couch. “I hate that you won’t look at me.” Her eyes slowly travel up his body, leaving a hot trail until they meet his. “Don’t shut me out. I won’t let you.”

  “I’m not!” she snaps, suddenly fuming with anger.

  “Don’t lie to me, Savi!” he snaps back.

  “I’m n—”

  He takes a step toward her and wraps both hands around her face. He slams his lips into hers, not caring about holding back. She pushes him away but squeaks when one hand moves the towel open and slides down her stomach and between her legs. Just as he suspected, she’s ready. No matter what’s going on between them, they can never deny their sexual attraction for one another.

  Her hands fly out, undoing his belt and tugging down his pants, and all the while his tongue is showing her what he wants to be doing. He backs her into the kitchen as he kicks away his pants and loses his shirt. She stiffens when he lowers her down on the cold countertop and slips two fingers into her. She grabs for his erection and runs her small hands around, matching what his fingers are doing to her.

  “I need to be in you,” he whispers into her lips, not caring how desperate it sounds. It’s the truth. She spreads her legs further as she guides him in. He sucks in a sharp breath as he tries to remember to stand. Once he’s fully in, he still holds her around her waist with one hand while running his other fingertips along her slender neck, tipping her up to look at him. He leans down and brushes his lips over hers. They both have so much to say, but can’t seem to find the words.

  “Lean back,” he orders. She complies, holding his gaze as she does so. He grips her thighs and brings her closer to the edge of the counter. His eyes rake over her body, seeing just how perfect it is. The color of her skin looks like honey, her dark hair swirling around her sexy face. The best part of this angle is her eyes. They drag him into the hot, dark pools that seem to deepen in color when he’s near. He flicks forward and he rotates his hips, and her lips part as she lets out a mute moan. He starts out slowly, watching her shoot up the counter as her full breasts bounce. She arches her back to get him deeper, and he changes hi
s grip from her thighs to her hips, rocking a little harder. His eyes shut as she squeezes him from the inside. “Damn, Savi,” he groans, getting lost in the feeling. Her leg muscles tighten, and her stomach flexes as her grip on his wrists becomes rough. She’s close, and so is he, but he intends to make this last for as long as he can.

  He pulls out, ignoring her curses as he hauls her off the counter and over to the couch where he bends her over the arm and takes her from behind. He covers her body with his, wanting every inch of her against him. Burying her head into the covers letting out a wild scream, she orgasms under him. He didn’t want to, but the intensity of her orgasm makes him go off too.

  Fucking perfect.

  Once he can see straight, he pulls out and scoops her up and carries her limp body into the bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights. The moon is enough. His erection still obvious in the dim light, she spreads her legs for him, and he settles between them, pressing in gently. Those gorgeous eyes roll back in her head as he slowly slides around in the slippery mixture. Nothing in the world feels as good as being inside this woman. They spend the next few hours making love, both giving in to their desires.

  They are both hot and sticky when they finally pry apart long enough to make it to the shower. By one a.m. she is curled into his chest in the bed with his fingers running up and down the length of her arm. They’re totally relaxed in the blankets he had grabbed from the couch while she was drying off. They haven’t spoken much, but he needs to know what happened today.

  “Savi?” he whispers, seeing if she’s awake.

  She shifts and moves her head slightly. “It was the truck, in the parking lot, and,” her voice is low, “it just brought me back to that day. I don't know why or what came over me, but—” He leans down and kisses her head. “Cole?”

  “Mmm?”

  She clears her throat, swallowing loudly. “Spend the night with me.”

  He smiles and turns her on her side, spooning her from behind. “Sleep, baby, I’ve got you.”

  Reaching for his hand and giving it a light kiss, she allows herself to fall asleep.

  ***

  Savannah

  I wake to Cole’s arms wrapped around me tightly. I want to stay like this forever, but my bladder has a mind of its own. I wiggle out of his warm hold and move quickly to do my business, but return to find him getting dressed. I try not to show my disappointment. Now that the sun has risen, I know we’re going to have to talk, so I slip on a robe and head to the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker and pulling out the cream. I turn to see Cole coming out of my room. I realize that although it feels weird seeing him here at my place, I like it. It’s a step forward.

  “I’m sorry, I have to get going. I have a meeting with Frank.” He moves in front of me and kisses my lips gently, then pulls away with his eyes squeezed shut like he’s got something to say. “Come home with me, Savi. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.”

  My head snaps back and I see red instantly. “Prove anything? Cole, this isn’t about anyone else. This is about me.”

  “If you were home, I could protect you better.”

  “I don’t need you to protect me, I—”

  “Oh, really?” His hands fly in the air. “What was that last night?”

  My mouth drops open. I can’t believe he’s is throwing that in my face. “I didn’t call you, Cole. Jake did!”

  “Thank Christ he did! You were huddled in a ball in the middle of a freezing parking lot, and you wouldn’t get in the car. I had to come all the way from the house to get there!” He’s almost shouting. “Just come home and make it easier on everybody. You’re not ready.”

  My blood is boiling! Why can’t he see the progress I’m making? “So sorry, Cole, that I interrupted your evening. I didn’t know Jake called you until he handed me the phone.” I reach for my bag and pull out my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I find Sue's number and scribble it on a Post-it.

  “What are you doing?” His voice is a low rumble.

  I walk to the door and hold it open. “You should go.” He grabs his jacket and steps out in the hallway. “Please thank your mother for the phone, but I will not be needing Shadows to care for me anymore.” His face drops as I shove the cell in his hand. “I apologize for the inconvenience I caused you yesterday. Rest assured, it won’t happen again.” I don’t wait for his response as I close the door in his face. He says something I can’t make out, but I wait until I hear footsteps before I sneak a peek through the peephole. I watch as he leaves through the stairwell. My heart hurts, but I push aside the pain. I will not let my emotions run me, even if I did just let the love of my life walk out the door. No, Savi, you kicked your love in the ass out the damn door. Fuck.

  ***

  I toss the rag I was using aside and jump up on the bar top. My feet are killing me. My bed is screaming—no, my couch is screaming my name. It’s been nine days since I’ve heard from Cole. I won’t lie, it hurts like hell, but I won’t back down on living my life. It’s painful, but I know I need this time for me. I need to be whole. Keith has even backed off. With my new phone, I texted Sue my number. I couldn't possibly freeze everyone out, especially Sue. She was there for me when I lost our baby, and I love her like my own mother. She was concerned about me, but she didn’t pry.

  “Can I ask you a huge favor?” Jake breaks into my thoughts, giving me the sweetest look and batting his lashes like a pro.

  Oh no…

  “Depends,” I counter, taking the glass of wine he just poured for me. Zack lets us drink on the house, most likely because he knows we aren't big drinkers.

  “This guy I’m seeing is coming to town. It’s been two months since I’ve seen him, and we want to go out…but his buddy is traveling with him, and he doesn’t want to ditch him. Problem is—”

  “He’s straight, I’m straight, and I’m the only one who knows we have a—”

  “Secret for a secret.” He grins, knowing he’s got me.

  I roll my eyes and wish the internet didn’t exist yet. Then my past wouldn’t have come back to bite me in the ass. “When and where?”

  “Yay!” He claps then looks around quickly as he realizes we are still at work.

  “Okay, Jake, as long as he knows he’s not getting laid and there’s zero chance of a second date.”

  “Of course.” He jumps off the counter. “Thursday, drinks at Chaps.”

  “What the hell is Chaps?” I call out.

  He turns and gives me a devilish grin. “We live in Montana, sweetheart.”

  I close my eyes, thinking a shopping trip may be in order…cowgirl boots are something I don’t own.

  ***

  Cole

  Cole types a quick message.

  Cole: Where?

  Keith: Still at work, having a drink with Jake.

  Cole: Let her know.

  Keith: Will do.

  Cole makes his way into the living room where Abigail is nursing a cup of tea. She’s been battling a nasty cold and hasn’t been able to sleep very well.

  She gives him a warm smile. “Come sit with me, honey.” She pats the seat next to her, and he does without a second thought. “You look stressed. Tell Aunt Abby what’s going on in that handsome head of yours.”

  He smiles at the words she has used for as long as he can remember. “I think I may have pushed when I shouldn’t have,” he admits, letting out a long sigh. “We spent the night together, and in the morning, I pushed too hard, saying she should come back.” He shrugs, feeling lost. “I know I made it seem like it would be easier for everyone if she did, and I wasn’t thinking about how much she’s accomplished since she left. Savi kicked me out, Abigail, and gave me back the phone with all of our contacts in it.”

  “Well, that explains the radio silence.” Abigail sips her tea.

  He runs his hand along his neck. “She’s so stubborn, and I love that, but…” He can’t finish the sentence.

  “What if she moves on to so
meone else?” she asks, finishing his question. He nods, as a shot to his stomach has him in discomfort. “Cole, you know Savannah only has eyes for you, but she needs some time to breathe without someone dictating her every move. Let her walk a little on her own, then she’ll run back to you. I promise.”

  “How do you know?”

  She sits her tea cup on her saucer and takes his hand in hers. “Because I’ve been on this earth a lot longer than you, and I know true love when I see it. You’re lucky enough to have found it this early in life. Most of us wait a lifetime or never find it. Give her space, honey. She loves you. Never doubt that.”

  “All right.” He leans back and lets out a long sigh and watches the fire, trying to convince himself that Abby knows best. She usually does.

  ***

  Savannah

  I open my door to find Keith sitting on my couch and staring at his phone, and it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. He stands, and I know something isn’t right.

  “Sit, Savi.” He nods to the chair, and I do. “You leave tomorrow morning for Washington. Pack enough for three days, and I’ll pick you up at seven a.m.” He heads for the door. “I’ll see you then.”

  “Umm, okay,” I whisper, feeling the layer of ice that has formed over our friendship.

  He starts to leave, but stops. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine,” I lie, reluctant to draw on my earlier fight with Cole. He closes the door behind him, leaving me reeling with the thought of seeing The American again.

  Sleep doesn’t happen, if it ever even was a possibility. I’m running on thirty minutes per night. Once Jake spent the night after drinking too much, and I managed to get in a solid four hours. It’s just not the same as being wrapped in Cole’s safety net.

  At six I’m packed and out the door, tired of staring at the living room wall. Yes, my place seems homier since Jake helped me decorate, but one could go crazy with how much I’m staring at it. I slip a note under Jake's door letting him know I’ll be gone for a few days and to help himself to my coffee. We exchanged keys a few days ago.